Pleasure Is Political: Reclaiming What Was Always Ours
- Jaala Davis
- Jun 4
- 4 min read
A Love Letter to BIPOC and LGBTQ+ Communities
What does it mean to reclaim pleasure in a world that has tried to make your body feel like a battleground?
For BIPOC and LGBTQ+ individuals, pleasure has never been neutral. It’s been punished, pathologized, commodified, and denied. We’ve been told our joy is dangerous. Our desires are too much. Our bodies are wrong, disposable, or invisible.
But let’s be clear: our pleasure is power. And reclaiming it is not indulgence, it’s resistance. It’s remembrance. It’s returning to what was always ours.
Because in a world built to suppress our light, feeling good isn’t indulgence, it’s resistance.
Pleasure as Reclamation
Audre Lorde (1984) wrote in Uses of the Erotic that the erotic is a source of deep knowledge and connection, a well of power that has been suppressed in the name of control. She reminds us:
“The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings.”
adrienne maree brown (2019), in Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, echoes this truth, writing that:
“pleasure is not frivolous, it’s liberation.”
When we center pleasure on our own terms we disrupt narratives that say we must suffer to be seen, assimilate to be accepted, or shrink to be safe.
Reclaiming pleasure means unlearning shame and remembering:
You don’t have to apologize for wanting what you want.
Your body was never the problem.
Desire, joy, touch, and rest are not luxuries. They are yours.
For those of us who’ve been policed, erased, or fetishized, pleasure becomes not just healing it becomes liberation.
Desire Without Permission
Think about the messages many of us grew up with from purity culture, binary gender norms, racial stereotypes, and silence around queerness and sex. These weren’t neutral. They were tools of control.
Research shows how deeply this conditioning runs. Harris (2011) discusses how systemic racism, anti-Blackness, and heteropatriarchy within cultural institutions like the Black Church have historically regulated Black bodies and sexualities, leading to shame, disconnection from pleasure, and restricted expressions of desire. This legacy continues to impact how Black people relate to their bodies and experience pleasure today. Whether you're queer, trans, nonbinary, kinky, ace, poly, still figuring it out, or none of the above you deserve to live in a body that feels like home. You deserve intimacy that honors your full self, not just the parts others find digestible.
There is nothing wrong with how you love. There is nothing wrong with how you want to be loved.
Healing Is Not a Prerequisite for Pleasure
You don’t need to be “fixed” to feel joy. Many BIPOC and queer folks come into healing spaces thinking they have to achieve a certain level of emotional work before they’re allowed to feel good. But that’s another lie we’ve been sold.
Love, justice, and healing aren’t things we have to earn; they’re things we deserve. Feeling good doesn’t have to wait for the “after” version of you. It can begin right now, in the version you are today.
Some days, pleasure is deep connection or touch that makes you feel seen. Other days, it’s laughing with your people, enjoying the sun on your skin, or saying no with your whole chest.
Ask yourself:
Where in my body am I ready to feel again?
What stories am I still carrying about what I deserve?
What version of myself have I been waiting to come home to?
These are not self-help questions. These are survival questions.
Starting Now: Simple Steps to Reclaim Pleasure Today
You don’t have to wait for permission or a perfect moment. Here are tangible ways to begin honoring your pleasure right now:
Take 5 deep, mindful breaths and check in with your body. Where do you feel tension? Where do you feel alive? Let yourself just notice without judgment.
Say “no” to one thing this week that drains your energy or doesn’t serve your joy. Protecting your boundaries is a radical act of self-care.
Move your body in a way that feels good: dance, stretch, walk outside with intention, or listen to music you love.
Try a simple self-touch practice, it could be a gentle hand on your heart, lightly rubbing the tops and palms of your hands, or giving yourself a comforting hug. Reconnect with your skin without pressure or expectation.
Journal one thing that brings you joy, big or small. Maybe it’s a memory, a person, a favorite food, or a place that feels safe. Write it down, enjoy the feeling.
Engage in social media or art that affirms your identity and desire. Follow creators who celebrate queer and BIPOC pleasure openly and unapologetically.
Explore saying “yes” to pleasure in everyday moments: eating a yummy meal, take a relaxing bath, or allow yourself to rest without guilt.
Find or nurture a community where you can be your whole self. Share joy with people who get it cook together, laugh loudly, and talk about pleasure and healing without fear of judgment. Pleasure in community reminds us: we are not alone in this.
This world has tried again and again to strip us of our softness. Our aliveness. Our right to take up space without explanation. But you are not here to be small. You are not here just to survive.
You are here to live. To feel. To take up space in your full, radiant, unruly self.
So let this be a reminder:
You don’t have to earn your joy.
You don’t have to explain your pleasure.
You don’t have to shrink to be safe.
You are already enough, you’ve always been.
Because your pleasure is political. And you deserve every drop of it.
Jaala Davis, LPC Associate (supervised by Claudia Thompson, LMFT-S, LPC-S), is a relational therapist at Enhancing Intimacy Counseling who supports BIPOC and LGBTQ+ clients in reclaiming pleasure, agency, and connection in their relationships and within themselves. Jaala creates a warm, affirming space where all parts of you are welcome—including your joy, your tenderness, and your desire. She is currently accepting new clients. Learn more about working with Jaala.
References & Resources
Lorde, A. (1984). Uses of the erotic: The erotic as power. Out & Out Books.
brown, a. m. (2019). Pleasure activism: The politics of feeling good. AK Press.
Harris, A. P. (2011). Sexuality and the Black Church: A history of anti-Black racism and
heteropatriarchy. In B. A. Battle & S. L. Barnes (Eds.), Intersectionality in Black sexualities (pp. 25–45). Palgrave Macmillan.
hooks, b. (2000). All about love: New visions. William Morrow.
Comments